To Believe or Not to Believe Your Household Employees

What do you do if your Nanny and/or Housekeeper must
leave the country to visit a dying relative?

The first thing you need to do is find out if that relative is
really dying. OK, that was very cynical, but let's
face it how many times have you heard that line used
as an excuse to quietly and quickly leave a job?

Before we get into what you need to do, let's first
discuss the reasons why this line may be used in an
effort to avoid confrontation. My first inclination is
that 10% of the time someone is really in dire
straits. The other 90% percent represents someone
looking for a way to leave the job for one of the
following reasons:

1) She doesn't want to work there anymore nor deal
with the issues at hand.

2) She has been offered another job with better terms
and conditions. In order not to lose it, she needs to
grab it quickly while leaving you without any notice.

3) She wants the time to try out the new position
before she lets go entirely of her current job.

4) She simply wants some time off to look for
something better. If she doesn't find it, she can
always return to you.

Obviously in all the above cases, the employee is
being dishonest and selfish. Unfortunately, if any of
the points 1-4 are true and discovered by you, she
will definitely walk away on bad terms. She will
think at the time that she doesn't need a reference,
but a resume with holes in it is always suspicious. If
the next employer should find out how she left the
last employer, it doesn't put her in a good light. So
first try to get your employee to come clean about the
facts concerning leaving temporarily. Drill her to see
if there are any other potential reasons for her
leaving the job.

Now, let's assume that your employee represents the
10% of those who are NOT using this as an excuse to
get away. Your first thought is to promise that you
will hold her job for her - but for how long? Is two
weeks appropriate or a full month? Should you offer to
hold her job indefinitely? Should you pay her for this
time off?

Here is some advice under these circumstances:

1) First and foremost, don't freak out nor panic.
Temporary help is always available through various
resources and worst-case scenario is that you have to
get someone new.

2) Never promise any specific period of time to hold a
job because you may be held to your word and find it
poses a problem if you change your mind.

3) Although it is discretionary with respect to paying
someone for this type of time off, it is rarely done.
However, if you choose to do so, covering a 2-week
period would be more than fair.

4) Be sure to get an email address or phone number for
where she can be reached while away. Ask her to stay
in touch on a weekly basis to give you an idea of how
things are progressing and as to when she might be
coming back.

5) Don't be disappointed if during the time she is
away, she realizes that she wants to change jobs, stay
in her country and/or simply take more time off.
Although you will be suspicious over this and find it
upsetting, sometimes people come to different
conclusions once they are away from the job itself.

6) In light of the potential that she might not be
returning, keep your eyes open at all times either by
putting the word out to friends and/or any other
employment services that are available to you.

7) If you use temporary help, always tell the temp
that if it proves to be a good fit and the former
employee doesn't return, there is potential for a
permanent job. (Temps will treat a job differently if
they think there is potential for a permanent job
offer.)

8) Remember that no one is "indispensable". No matter
how good anyone does the job, there will always be
someone out there that does it just as good or better.
Sometimes this provides a perfect opportunity for you
to correct some things that maybe you weren't happy
about with your last employee giving you a chance to
alter household management procedures.

9) If your employee does not come back for whatever
reason while she is attending to her dying relative,
please do not be so angry that you decide to get back
at her by NOT providing a reference. Remember the law
states that at the very minimum you are required to
give an employee a "letter of employment
verification". Although you feel somewhat duped and
abandoned, try to put your anger aside and simply stay
professional.

A word for those who are the employees reading this.
It is always best to be honest at all times. If you
are using this as an excuse to leave a position,
remember that lies always follow you and eventually
surface. No one likes a liar. No matter the
circumstances, it is always better to tell the truth.
Secondly, even if you have personality and employment
issues with your employer and cannot see eye-to-eye,
be honest about the problems, provide proper notice
and make every effort to leave on good terms.